Wednesday, April 20, 2011

How To Give A Good Compliment

If you see a lot of posts about communication at Life Coaches Blog, it’s not because I’m good at it, but because I was a real social nerd (some of my friends will say I’m still one :P ).
More than a few people who’ve seen me speak have been surprised, but I’m an introvert by nature and an extrovert by training. I’ve had to pick up these skills to overcome my awkward social skills and that’s why I like to share what I’ve found to work, and what I want to learn more about.
Here’s something I’ve found to help me open up conversations, give people a lift, and raise my self-esteem at the same time.

How To Give A Good Compliment

There’s nothing like a warm, sincere compliment to make your day. Instead of waiting for one, why not give one out? Take it from me, the more you give, the more you find you’ll receive.

1) Make your compliment specific.

“That necklace looks really good on you” makes a bigger impact compared to “you look really good today”. The more specific the better, it makes the person feel like you notice them.

2) Back up your compliment.

Don’t just stop at “that necklace looks really good on you”. Your compliment becomes stronger when you say why you think so; “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes”.

3) Ask a question with your compliment.

And if you want to use it as a conversational starter, ask a question about the subject of your compliment; “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes. Where did you find it?”.

Why Giving Compliments Raises Your Self-Esteem

It takes confidence and self-esteem to notice good things about others and to make the first caring move to tell them about it :)
When I first started giving compliments I was awkward and shy about it. I kept wondering if I’d offend them in some way or make people suspicious about what I wanted from them.
I’ve since discovered that a sincere compliment is always a welcome boost to someone’s day. There will be those that reject it or will even argue with you, but that’s usually their problem and not yours. A compliment is like a gift, if someone doesn’t want your gift you’ll still end up owning it. The best way to accept one is also like a gift, just say ‘thank you’.
You’ll also find when you start noticing good things about people, you’ll notice more good things about you too! And the more you do, the more your own self-esteem will grow.


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